Parenting is not for the weak. And it’s in fact quite harder than I had imagined. Toddlers are like overwhelming tornadoes of love and laughter and unexplicable emotional outbursts. I am most absolutely certain that I’m learning way more than she is as we navigate this parent-child life together, but I like to think my lessons learned are a bit more sophisticated than hers. For instance:
Don’t squeeze your brothers face.
Don’t go potty in your cereal bowl in the middle of the kitchen floor. (This has sadly happened more than once.)
Don’t wrap a towel around your brother’s face.
Don’t dip your food in your water cup.
Don’t paint yourself using your fork with the water you just dipped all of your spaghetti casserole in.
Don’t clean the inside of your mouth with the same wash cloth you just used to clean your potty. (Also: ONLY MOMMY CAN CLEAN YOUR POTTY) (Also: We don’t clean the inside of our mouth with a wash cloth.)
Don’t blow your nose and then eat the kleenex. In fact, lets not eat kleenex at all, please.
Don’t gag your brother (I re-teach this on the daily)
And my personal favorite: If you have to go potty, don’t stand here yelling at me that you have to go potty because you’ve been going potty alone for months. AND, especially since once we get to the bathroom you will absolutely refuse to let me help you in any way.
Got any crazy teaching moments? I’d love to hear how I’m not alone in this insane mommyhood.