Mom Tips: Things I Didn’t Know Had To Be Taught

DSC_7141 Parenting is not for the weak. And it’s in fact quite harder than I had imagined. Toddlers are like overwhelming tornadoes of love and laughter and unexplicable emotional outbursts. I am most absolutely certain that I’m learning way more than she is as we navigate this parent-child life together, but I like to think my lessons learned are a bit more sophisticated than hers. For instance:

Don’t squeeze your brothers face.


Don’t go potty in your cereal bowl in the middle of the kitchen floor. (This has sadly happened more than once.)

Don’t wrap a towel around your brother’s face.

Don’t dip your food in your water cup.

Don’t paint yourself using your fork with the water you just dipped all of your spaghetti casserole in.

Don’t clean the inside of your mouth with the same wash cloth you just used to clean your potty. (Also: ONLY MOMMY CAN CLEAN YOUR POTTY) (Also: We don’t clean the inside of our mouth with a wash cloth.)

Don’t blow your nose and then eat the kleenex. In fact, lets not eat kleenex at all, please.

Don’t gag your brother (I re-teach this on the daily)

And my personal favorite: If you have to go potty, don’t stand here yelling at me that you have to go potty because you’ve been going potty alone for months. AND, especially since once we get to the bathroom you will absolutely refuse to let me help you in any way.

Got any crazy teaching moments? I’d love to hear how I’m not alone in this insane mommyhood.




About becauseyouaskedmeto

Learning to be a momma. Longing to be obsessed with my Savior. Loving my husband.
This entry was posted in housewife tales, mom tips, toddler tales and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Mom Tips: Things I Didn’t Know Had To Be Taught

  1. Whit says:

    First of all, is it ok if I find this really funny? I remember Tyler eating dried dog poop over & over for weeks every time I turned my back when we were outside. I remember Beau barricading himself into a bush was too big to get under & he would just scream that he wasn’t coming out till he got his way about whatevet was that day’s problem. And I remember them both pushing all the laundry Ihad just folded down the stairs time after time. Yes, you have a spirited little one,
    but so much of this is normal. I have said it before & I will say it again, I think you are a great fun & loving mom & I am pround

  2. Whit says:

    I tried to leave a coment but I’m not sure it worked. long story short, I think you are doing a great job with your kids & I hooe you don’t mind all this cracks me up a little just because I can relate.

  3. Kathy Ramsdell says:

    My daughter must read this. Having a 3 year old who does exactly what you referred to as your personal favorite and HE doesn’t even have a new baby brother. Just a new puppy. lol

  4. Jo Ann says:

    The fun has just begun. Wait until Barrett starts walking.

  5. Erica says:

    1. It is not an effective way to get attention to close yourself in the bathroom and scream, “Mommy! I’m stuck!” over and over… Oh wait, yes it is, because you can’t open doors.
    2. 5:30am is not morning.
    3. I do not know the answer to all your theological questions, such as, “If an grandma and a baby die, are they the same age in heaven?” but you can ask them anyway.
    4. If you unfold all of Mommy’s folded laundry while I’m in the bathroom Mommy’s brain WILL explode, ALL OVER YOU! ;)
    5. Beads are not for putting in your nose… or your mouth… or your ears.
    6. Please do not try to catch the fish out of the aquarium! They don’t like it. (a lesson taught every single day)
    7. The vacuum will not hurt you. The food processor will not hurt you. The blender will not hurt you. I might… just kidding.
    8. I have to brush your hair every single day so you might as well quit complaining about it.
    9. If you drink ALL the sippies of kefir juice, you will get diarrhea. Oh wait, you don’t care, because I’m the one who changes the diapers.
    10. Chocolate is not a nutritionally complete snack. Nevermind, I’ll get some for everybody.

  6. YES to all of this! Annie’s shenanigans may be slightly different, but all in all, this sounds VERY familiar to my day. She’ll poop in her pants and say, “It was an accident” with those big brown eyes sparkling saying, “no it wasn’t” even though she has known how to go in her potty chair for MONTHS. I get it. You’re most definitely NOT alone :)

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